C-chan

I've been mulling over it for a few days, and I think I'm going to do this.

For new year's this year, my resolution is going to be to challenge myself to read, on average, one book per day over the course of the year. That's 365 books in all.

Since this is going to be over 2009, I won't start counting until January 1st, and will continue until December 31st (hense the foreward dating)

Rules:
~Any type of books count, so long as it's read from cover to cover. (IE no counting reading a chapter from a textbook, but a picture book or volume of manga is fine)
~Rereading books is fine (as in, have read before in my life), however we want 365 unique books. So no counting the same book twice.
~Physical books only. No online reading counts. (This might be up for debate in certain circumstances, ie reading a Dickensian novel online, but that's about it.)

Current goal: 365 books.
Current read: ( 104 )

Anyone want to join me and/or have suggestions of books to read?

( Meme done over the course of today )

1) Take this test. (It will only take, maybe 5 minutes.)

2) Post your results code in the comments of this entry. (mine is bz2nn6fz60774ss)

3) I will compile them into a class portfolio. Tou can do the same if you wish.

So. I was at my uncle's girlfriend's house on Sunday.

It was my first time there and........... I'm still trying to decide if it should be Matthew's or Tino's house. It definitely hit me as being correct for one of them. The interior decorating would be different if it were Tino's though, due to Berwald and IKEA. XD

But yeah, beautiful, lots of land, lots of trees, a river..... beautiful.

She's Polish, by the way. And sang a birthday song to my nana in Polish. .......................... I can see Poland singing it to Liet so easily.... XD


Lately I've been going through a fair amount of fail.

Managed to lose my student card and $5, misplace a puffin, and fail once again to get Sumomo done, so Kotoko ended up being debuted without her.

This morning, I'm replacing my student card.
...before that, I should shower. And try to get some of my readings done for this afternoon.

...and then explain to my partner for drama that I'm sorry, but I promise I'll have that stuff done in time, I just failed in getting it done last night due to exhaustion.

So, I owe you a post on yesterdy. And, well, here it is.

( This might get long. )

I want to write a long entry post about today, but I need to sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow....

It's 9:30am right now.

I've been up for an hour and a half, give or take.

I am home alone, have been since I got home last night. Will be until late tomorrow, unless I go out with someone.

This weekend, I have 46 character biographies to mark, give or take one. I have one lesson plan to perfect, and I want to write a ton more if I can. At least the 3-4 I'll need for Tuesday. Need to write a whole bunch of protocol stuff, and do all the reflections that I'm behind on.

And if time allows, work on halloween costumes. XP

Last night was unproductive, I grazed like a hobbit and had another moment and complained over lack of love life (again), and wished that I could find someone to interact with one or two of my muses.

Got intensely tired sometime between 10 and midnight, but still managed to keep going until 12:30 because I'm crazy like that.

I had a dream last night about going to the library and finding the Complete Winnie the Pooh in three volumes (only the overall outsides having proper covers) in a red binding for... they said $5-10 and I gave them $5 (geez, even in my dreams, I'm cheap OTL). I saw the first volume and the second volume was underneath, I didn't see the third until the librarian pointed it out, since it was on another shelf on the discareded booksale pile. And then I was working there, but apparently I failed at knowing their hours -- they closed at 2pm on Saturdays due to something happening in the afternoon, and I was wondering why I was alone and the lights were off. XD And somehow my recent fail at getting together for a day with human_nosferatu managed to come into my dream, but... I think we managed it somehow. ...and there was lots of talking on cel phones and think/pair/sharing with a bunch of people, IIRC. *shrugs*

At least it's not another directly school-related dream. XD


This morning has been good so far.

I fin(n)ished reading Banana Boys. I have to say, the epilogue... was probably the weakest part of the book, but overall I loved it. And was sad to see everyone going in such separate directions at the end. Even though... that's life, I guess.

And then? Almost right after? shutupred called me. From England. Just for a minute (my cel said it was a minute exactly). And said hi and everyone at the London Expo Hetalia meet yelled something that I couldn't quite make out but the thought was there and *__________* for me. And... and... and.... I was almost in tears it was so lovely and <3333.

*gets shutupred more monthly bandwidth. and a mic. and forces her to skype*


And now? Now I think it's time for breakfast. Then a bath.

Knowing me, I'll be mainly eating leftovers, blueberry soup, and pasta this weekend, with some veggies on the side. Let's see if I'm right.



But yeah, it's being a good day so far. Hopefully it holds up, and I can get lots done! Wish me luuuck!!

Being reminded of the fact that I want an S.O. Hating the fact that I constantly fail at talking to people about romance. As if avoiding people and/or the subject will make it better.

I seriously wish I had some romance in my life. But I really do fail at bringing stuff up.


...probably like how I also often feel bad/uncomfortable saying things I think might offend someone. I hate it that I often have no outlet for my feeling, because I'm afraid someone might be upset or something. Or something.


...though apparently I'm more open about it at home. Mom's been upset at me lately because apparently I've been snapping at her.
I feel like I've been left out too much lately, like she's assuming I don't want to do things. Like go to the school I went to kindergarten at and she's been teaching at since before I was born's 50th anniversary. Or go grocery shopping. Or... other stuff. And admittedly, I've been a little short lately between hormones and stress as well. OTL


I don't get enough RP time.

Or sewing time -- I still haven't started my hallowe'en stuff and I'm paranoid that I won't have time. I feel like I'm failing. OTL

Today was... half-good, half-bad. Literally. Overall I found it positive. But if I was provoked the wrong way, I could start harping on all the bad really easily. So I'll try to stick with the positive for the... benifit of my mental health. Yes.

I felt like ick yesterday. Which I'm both glad for, because it was a day I didn't need to do much, and sad about, because I could have gotten so much done.....

Ah well, such is life, right?

So. Um. Today's not going too well.

Though I'm not actually upset. Just... tense.

Why?

WELL.

Morning. 6 hours of sleep after being 4 minutes late on electronic submission for an assignment, and praying that prof is ok, since it's 4 minute and they're usually pretty accommodating.

Get up, get ready, get ride to bus station, mom gives me umbrella, take bus to near school, walk rest of the way. Get to school, room is open, but no AT (Associate Teacher, ie the person whose class I'm in). I assume she's in a practice or something, but have doubts because the schedule says otherwise.

School starts. AT comes to class, there was practice after all. Music all morning, spent a little under a third of the first two classes counting time on the clock while students set up instruments. Next class practices a song, so cacophony with a very loud drum (the fact I was sitting near it didn't help >.<). Recess. NEXT class is a double period, I get called out near the end, along with all the other TCs (Teacher candidates, ie Student teachers). The principal wants us to help look after the kids, since he wants to keep them in for the first half of lunch recess.

So, lunch recess. We have the first twenty minutes -- the lunch part, to eat and such. Then I go to the classroom. We were told the supervisor would be in there with us -- there was me and another TC. With all the intermediates. The supervisor... leaves right away. So it's just the two of us. And the kids are, of course, kinda.... hyper and such. It's lunch recess, that afternoon they're allowed to have gum. And more kids keep on coming in. The other guy, he's pretty comfortable, he's an extrovert, he's going around and talking with different groups. I'm... more wandering, kind of supervising.

At the end of THAT twenty minutes it's pouring. So, um, other twenty minutes also inside. With just the two of us. And more intermediates joining us as they came back from their lunch excursions. About ten minutes before end of recess, a gaggle of girls all want to go to the washroom. I tell them to go one or two at a time. They're all like "I NEED TO GOOOO"!!! I don't know whether it's the other TC saying, or them just going, but some kids are just going in and out anyway....... >.< In short, not a good setup. >.< At all.

And I got like, no introvert time. And my AT comes back at the end of it and said she was avoiding coming to the room BECAUSE she knew all the kids were in there.

So, yeah. I was kind of tense after that.

After that, triple period with the other grade 7 class (ie the one that's not my AT's). For language. They were supposed to be doing silent reading.... but let's do some math, shall we?

Indoor recess
Friday before long weekend
Allowed to have gum when they normally cant
Triple period
+ silent reading
?

I'll give you a hint. Not a lot of on-task-ness. At all. >.>

They actually weren't that noisy. But she wanted them on-task. And there was a lot of whispering and... I love how students don't get that the moment you turn your back on them doesn't mean you won't notice if they start up again. ...and yet I know I did that too. XD and... sometimes still do. -_-

Anyway, yeah. There was an assignment at the end of class, in period 3 of 3. Students had to try and guess definitions to words. AT was pretty fed-up by then, and the kids were... yeah, not exactly behaving by this point. So she kept them in during recess still working until they were done. And that was... most of recess. Which was indoor anyway, so my class came back at that point and... yes.

My class had lab and then one period. And that was pretty good. I got a little introvert time because I needed to convert a file on my laptop for a student, because I could and the school computers couldn't. XD

They did the same activity as the previous class. And, it proved what my AT says about them. The first class is more academic, but less well-behaved. Her class is a little lower academically, but better behaved.

Though apparently both classes got considerably lower than what she's used to seeing classes doing on that scramble. Heh.


Then, end of day. Debriefing, talked about some stuff for next week, including what I'll probably do my first lesson on, and getting seating plans, so I can, um, LEARN NAMES? Yeah. -_-;


Then go home. Have assignment due I need to finish up. Have cake first, then start working. and... other stuff.

Am done at about 8:15, get ready to send it off. Find out the due TIME was 8pm. PANIC. Email it to prof at 8:20. PANIC MORE.


Thankfully, she emailed me back saying that the due time was SUPPOSED to be midnight, she also emails everyone to tell them that. But yeah, that was panicy.


So. That was my today.

Can you see why I'm tense? OTL


And I still have no friggin clue if anything at all is happening this weekend. OTL

I want to do something...... I need to see friends or something. It's been a good two weeks since I've had solid friend time. Like, I had two hours last Sunday, and that was good, but it's not a lot. And didn't really involve too much chilling or whatever. ToT

Need more time. And more awesomeness. And more bunnies.

I hate this....

I want to know what's going on this weekend, but no one knows, and that's driving me insane.
I'm going back to the role of a teacher on Friday, and I don't know if I should be scared or excited.
I'm confused over things, but I can't talk about them with anyone for fear of... various things.
I hate the idea of setting up friends filters, so I don't, but partially as a result of this and partially due to the previous statement and partially due to other stuff... I feel so often like I need to censor myself and bottle things away.
I wish I could vent a few things to someone, but it's late now, and I really should just go to bed.


...I don't have my homework done for tomorrow at all. But I'll manage.


Someone offered to buy me something today, and I literally didn't know how to take it. I think it embarrasses me when people volunteer to offer me things, though the cheap part of my brain says yay and then the responsible side says how do we make it up to them it's not fair to just let them give stuff... and sometimes I feel I'm behind on giving people stuff for this reason, even though I wouldn't feel the same if I were giving them stuff... ie. I wouldn't be expecting much in return, if anything at all.

There's some things I still really need to get over. I don't think it's holding a grudge so much as wounds I keep picking at or something. I... should work on that. Probably. Yeah.

In the meantime, let's try to sleep. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. A massage would help. But alas, no one to give me one right this second. ...ah well.

1) Awkwardness makes for awesomeness in RPs.
2) Awkwardness does not make for awesomeness in reality.
3) I get really frustrated when I don't have an appropriate place to voice my thoughts.
4) #3 happens far too often, in various situations, for various reasons. :S
5) Seeing furniture from my childhood -- some in good condition, some not -- being thrown away... hurts.
6) I need more people to RP with and/or more muses for mine to interact with.
7) #6 nonwithstanding, I don't have time for lj or other long-term-commitment-based RPS, and often end up being an introvert when in one.
7) I need to talk to some people more often.
8) I need to write those letters.
9) I wish people would write me letters.
10) This book is reminding me too much of two people -- and if I'm remembering their comments correctly, they agree.
11) I need more energy.
12) My entire family needs more energy.
13) I'm not spending enough time on homework.
14) There's something amusing with the idea of a Mormon Latin lover. No offense to Mormons.
15) Most of the Mormons I know should be excommunicated.
16) My church wouldn't excommunicate them for the reasons that they should be excommunicated, IIRC. >.>
17) I need more time to be social.
18) I need more TIME.
19) I really should do some cleaning.......
20) I really should get some more sleep.....
21) I might be on staff next year for NAF.
22) All being good, I will be leaving for Japan at the end of July. I don't expect it to be easy, and I know there will be hardships, and yet I will still be disillusioned and I know it. But I want to go still. But I need to apply first. And yes.

Note: Please see 18 in regards to 19 and 20. and 17. and 8. and 13. and 22. and most of the list.

So, at the very least, I got two hours of being in physical presence of other geeks today. Which... was nice. But... it kind of scares me at the same time.

I'm terrified of drifting away from people. Because it seems to happen so easily. And.... I hate being left behind.

I'm applying to go to Japan next year. This was decided ages ago by me, and I want to follow through. But... I found out today that, although we planned to, two_powers may not be coming with me. And... that's hititng me a lot harder than it should. I... really do want her to go with her, but she has sane and sound reasoning for being hesitant. IE: the job market. Which... is also partially why going now is good for me, go figure.

But... I guess.... either way... kind of....

I'm scared of losing touch with everyone. I-I don't know if it will happen or not. But.... I don't know. I feel like it's extremely possible. I-I'm not the type of person people strive to keep in contact with most of the time, for whatever reason. And.... I don't know. I'm scared.


There's other stuff to be scared of too, I know.

The fact that my muses have randomly been depressed all day (well, not really random, I think I know a few good reasons why, some of which I addressed earlier today, some of which I haven't) probably isn't helping matters.


...and I have to wake up for school in six and a half hours... ugh.... ToT



Also: From my drama prof's comments, I'm scared that I'm doing a small assignment incorrectly. And it involves making a lesson plan and... I find it really hard to know what I need in one when I'VE NEVER HAD TO USE ONE.
Sorry. Just... yeah. School = lots of little assigments and some big ones and.... I'm frustrated a bit. And I want time again. But I can't have it this year, apparently. Which I knew going in. But yeah.

On the bright side? I get to show off my baking skills tomorrow.

For the record? I was right. It's ending up to be a do-nothing weekend. Which actually isn't bad, it's nice to relax sometimes. Though I'll admit to being somewhat bored... (really, I should be doing homework. xD)

I think I'm going to start to use my musebox more often. and put IC rants in there. Because certin muses have been wanting to talk more often. And... that's what museboxes are for, right?
...if anyone wants to respond to anything, feel free. They're open to conversation.

It sucks because I don't have time for any commitment-required RPs. I kind of want to do more on MSN/AIM/whatever. Grar muses not wanting to shut up.

On the other hand, accidentally starting a conversation with the wrong person over MSN due to target going offline right as I tried to poke them... has turned into an awesome conversation about failed seppeku. (Involving desk lamps. Though we all know mechanical pencils work better.)

It's FMA day! October third. ...of course, this will be all the better in two years, but Shhhh. >D

I kind of want to do something for it, but can think of nothing. Ah well, maybe I'll drag my red jacket out and play the second FMA video game in the basement. ...perhaps I'll actually get past "Wow brother! It only took you 32 tries!!" (Yes, that is a quote. XD)

In the meantime, I resolve to listen to FMA image songs for the duration of my writing this post. I have an urge to listen to Roy's or Al's in particular, but I'll have to get through Ed's first. But I like.... all but one of Ed's, so that's ok. >.> I like all but one for most characters, actually. ^^;

Anyway, on with the post. I've actually been meaning for the past few days to put up one, more or less outlining the past week. Because so much has happened. XD Some of it awesome, some of it crapy, some of it very feelingsy, some of it geeky, some of it... meh. XD I'll cut the bulk of it to save the f-lists out there, if anyone actually... feels like reading, then by all means, do. If not, then don't. =D

( The shining world overflows in my hands.... )

So, apparently 11:30 at night when I'm starting to get tired is the perfect time to make a half-hour-long lj-post/podcast/recording of C-chan talking. Well, not really. Only 25 minutes. And I'm refusing to call it the second really because it's not professional enough and Finland refuses to make Supersize Underhit: Rainbow Kumkwat Hour! without Estonia. But it's download and not hosted on lj, so technically it's not a voice post though that's more or less what I mean it to be. So. Um. CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL.

Anyway, it's here. And it's about 50% C-chan singing, 30% C-chan talking, and 20% C-chan wondering what to sing. And waffling over what to sing.

So, um, feel free to download and listen. Or... not download and not listen. The choice is yours.

In the meantime, BED.

This feels so surreal....

HOW TO PLAY:
♪ Get your computer microphone ready!
♪ Make a post to your LJ asking for sound recording requests! Requests may include the reading of excerpts from books, fanfiction, or roleplay, they may include the singing of a song [at least 10 seconds of it!], or they may include funny animal noises... It's up to your FList!
♪ Record the sound files and upload them to Sendspace, YSI, or whatever file-sharing site you prefer.
♪ Reply to the request comment with a link to your file! ♥

PLAYER'S PREFERENCES:
♪ BANDS: Eheh.... I'm not huge on any specific band.... I know a fair amount of Japanese and English stuff..... ...........showtunes, image songs..... camp songs..... ask me, if I say I don't know it link me?
♪ WRITTEN WORKS: Anything PG13 or lower. Sadly, I'm not reading pr0n. But that's about the only limitation. I'll do selections from books, poems, something you've written, something I've written, something from a video game if I can get my hands on it... reciting a line from a tv show, whatever.
♪ ANIMALS: er, I'm best at cats, but try me and worst comes to worst I'll fail miserably. XD
♪ OTHER: >.> I'll do in-character stuff. Specific lines or ranting or whatever. (Even if I don't have a distinct muse for them I can probably fake it, so long as I know the series. XP)

Argh. Stuff going through my brain now when I want to sleep. Isn't that always the case?

I'm frustrated about something but I don't really want to talk about it. 'ts not in my power and I should just accept it anyway.

I'm frustrated about something else, but it's my own fault and if I work hard I can fix it and no one needs to be too much the wiser. Or I can make up for it if they already are.

And a third thing I'm frustrated about as well. But again, it's not really in my power, and in the end, it doesn't matter. And the opposite happening would probably have its own problems. ...and I fail at some things to do with this anyway. XD

I've got the house to myself tomorrow, which should be lovely, provided I can actually get myself motivated. Which I'd better, I have a lot of work to do if I want to enjoy Sunday.

Pretty much, if I can get a ton of resarch done, and a decent amount of recording? I'll be happy. If I can get reading done, it will be an added bonus, but research and recording... and crafting come first.

I'll be so happy when next week is over, so much due then....... hence WHY I need to dedicate tomorrow to it. And possibly Saturday.

Thank goodness for a Friday off school at least.

Today was still pretty epic overall. Now to see if my brain can finally get off the teacher's college kick and dream about SOMETHING ELSE FOR A CHANGE? please? Please?

Because I feel like doing a FEWnow without spamming....




....I seem to remember someone talking about using the Dewey Decimal system as a secret code not too long ago...? >.> XD

you are lightcyan #E0FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

... I like this one. And I'm battling with a few of the things on there right now. :S

I'm kinda amused by the colour choice, and wonder if people would agree with the description.


Also: Today has been AWESOME. Except for random ronery after school. But thatwasn't very bad. Just ronery. XD