It only took me 25 years, but... over the past year, I've started to figure out in less ambiguous terms where I want to go and what I want to do. Some of it is still vague -- I can't predict exactly what the perfect person will look like, or what my job's title will entail, or the exact layout of my future home. But I have a sense of what that person will be like. I have an idea of what sort of career path I want to pursue, within the career path I'd already chosen. I'm finding peace in defining myself, even while leaving enough open that I hopefully won't miss the steps to the perfect opportunity as they come.
I actually have about a page of handwritten notes (actually two half-pages of handwritten notes) on what I want in the short term and long term in some detail. It's concise enough that there's a lot of room for interpretation, while being specific enough to hit what I truly do value and want.
(Part of me doesn't know if I should share it or keep it private and only written.)
I hope I can find all the pieces. I hope that I can get moving towards a bright future soon.
There is so much that I want, and I feel so much that I just need that catalystic first major step so that I can truly get started. Maybe it will work like that, and maybe it won't.
I could wallow in what hasn't been that I thought would have, but that will do me no good.
I need to look forward, to keep my eye on what is ahead, and get balls rolling so that I'm not missing any opportunity that comes my way.
Here's to trying. Here's to the attempt. Here's to pushing myself to get there. Here's hoping I remember, and don't give up five steps in, or worse yet, before I even begin.
Here's to the future, with all the hope that it can be as bright as I want it to be, and that I can begin to see the shimmer approaching soon.